Sep 26, 2012 0 Share

A Demanding Boss

Illustration of baby crying.

So, I like working at home because that means I can better arrange when I have to interact with people. Especially my boss(es). 

As I've also mentioned previously, we have a new baby, K.D. (Kid Deutsch). Emily and I are taking care of her full time until later this fall, when Emily will return to the office and I'll have K.D. full time. 

So in a sense I work two jobs—A SPLINT and stay-at-home fatherhood. 

You know how some people complain that their bosses don't understand anything that's going on, scream at them without even explaining what's the matter and just in general give them a lot of crap? 

Well know the rest. 

K.D. can't critique anything I do in A SPLINT. She can't demand I change anything. She can't even criticize me for not doing it efficiently enough. What she can do, at a moment's notice, is bring it to a screeching—or rather, screaming—halt. 

No, she can't fire me ... not even if I call her an idiot. (And I sure as heck can't quit ... not that I would ever more than hardly ever consider it.) Curiously enough, so far she's the last person on Earth I would ever consider calling an idiot. (Even if she does yell at me without asking, say, whether I need to take a few seconds to warm up her bottle before feeding her!) 

On the other hand, it's not like I can ask her to stick to a schedule. Or even email me what's bothering her, for crying out loud! 

Speaking of which, like many bad bosses K.D. is shockingly technologically behind. She can't even use a phone, much less listen to a voicemail or send an email. In fact, I wonder if she's even literate! 

(Of course, that could change 10 or so years down the road, when she may be able to email, text and even Facebook-message me ... along with all her friends. Or maybe by then it'll be holograms or mind waves. Then I'll worry about data charges, not to mention if when she breaks/loses/gets robbed of her device!) 

Sometimes all she wants is just plain companionship. You've had bosses who needed hand-holding and soothing, right? Not to mention those who like to call surprise meetings all the time? 

And of course, we've all had bosses who left messes and expected us to clean them up. Who focused entirely on the here and now, and wouldn't listen to anything you tried to explain to them. Who needed us to drag them kicking and screaming all the way. Who were just plain immature

K.D. is the most exacting, disruptive and impulsive boss I've ever had. She combines the worst features of the worst bosses I have ever had. (And I've had a few doozies—though I'll be the first to admit that at least one or two of them were likely doozies-only-for-me.) 

And Emily and I love her just the way she is right now.